Hope for yourself or hope in general? Either way, thank you for your kind words. It is nice to know there are people who feel these things for me, and/or about me, because I don't feel them about myself.

I'm not so alone here, as I was in Minnesota. If I was still in Minnesota, and using at the volume and frequency I am here, I would have been game over by now. I am near a true, great friend here, as well as my mom, my little dog, and my coworkers are great. These things have been enough to at least prevent me from going completely off the edge. It's still hard to keep going and try to keep a positive outlook. Where I was, I was completely isolated from every positive person I had ever known, with no job and dead to the world. All of the money I managed to gather went towards my DOC, which is meth. Until one day, the mom of my friend here contacted me on her own, which has never happened, with an offer to buy me a bus ticket to come home. She said it was up to me, but she had already bought the ticket and without knowing I would need one, she also ordered me a duffel bag and backpack from Amazon.

I left the my first home the next morning at 6 a.m. I was so uneasy about what was ahead, and sick with fear about what I was making a conscious decision to finally let go. I knew I wasn't leaving meth by leaving Minnesota. I was leaving pieces of my heart, or I was going to hold on and bleed to death.