So it was another day on Xbox,
Talking with all of my friends,
When an unnoticed stranger joined in,
He stayed in silence, content to listen.
Until someone called something gay,
And he told us that was not okay.
He told us his name was nick,
And I was quick to befriend him,
Unbeknownst to me the tragedy this would end in.
We spoke day after day,
Hour after hour,
Discussing everything under the son.
I became his only friend,
The only one he was able to rely on.
We began texting, and shit escalated from there.
Because one day he revealed he was depressed, when he showed me his cuts everywhere.
I was quick to empathize,
Knowing what to feel like to imagine when one dies.
So I sat there and realized I was the only friend of this 22 year old man,
Who had little family, no hope, and no plan.
We grew closer that day, he grew closer than I, I would say.
He fell for me, but I not for him,
As poor nick was gay,
But I didn't feel the same way.
His messages grew ever loving,
But I chose to pretend the situation wasn't escalating.
Little did I know how badly this would end.
He started send me picture after picture of him,
Hoping to attract me,
This shit had no end.
He was clingy,
Desperate for my attention.
"No you can't date anyone, I need you"
I still felt empathy for this poor soul,
I felt obligated to make him feel whole.
He was unrelenting in his advances,
And time after time I said no,
And then he tried to end it all,
He tries to kill himself by trying to fall,
In front of a train he jumped but ended up in jail.
His absence concerned me to no end.
He returned and attached himself to me even further,
Little did I know it would get worse.
He said he needed me to love him,
But my patience grew thin.
He threatened to kill himself if I didn't return his love,
But little did I know how he would attempt.
He sent me lewd photos of his feminine body,
Demanding I masturbate to them,
And he treated it as if it were no deal,
But I was damaged, surprised he could betray me and make me feel,
So used and in a tight spot.
A few weeks passed and he had not let up.
His affection made me want to throw up.
I found a girlfriend,which he forbade me from having,
The pleasure of having a female as a companion.
I his it from him,
Feeling guilty every day,
As I was betraying him,
Even though he betrayed me in every way.
I had had enough by this time,
Yet I still felt obligated to keep him alive.
He became abusive, accusing,
Blaming me for all the wrong in his life.
I told him he would be better off dead,
And that night he tried to kill himself.
He lived, and made me feel less human when he returned.
At this point I know how badly I had been burned.
He was relentless.
A bully.
A fucking asshole.
I hated him,
But I didn't know how to make it end.
I cried every night,
Feeling the blight,
The disease that this man was.
This isn't the way a friend makes a friend feel.
Inhuman,
Useless,
Fuck.
I just wanted him to die, but he it wouldn't let up.
He forced me to do his bidding all the fucking time,
This insolent cunt.
I told my psychiatrist finally the stress that this man caused.
This tale comes to an end with a threat from a man,
Who felt he was right in every way a person can.
And now I live with this pain,
Damaged by hate,
Fueled by rage.
This is the tale of the asshole named nick,
The man from New York ,
The man who isn't a man.
Side note: I do not hate gay people. I love them actually. I just had this one horrible experience. It did not taint my view of the LGBT community at all. Just this one man.
Side note 2: I have been struggling to cope with this for almost a year now. It hurts so much. I just had to make it not be a secret anymore... Thank you for reading.