Consider that his willingness to lie to his parents about you living there so he can take advantage of their financial assistance with the downpayment is shady and really doesn't make him sound like a great guy. Even if his parents are in your opinions unreasonably conservative he is still being dishonest with family for financial gain- why do you think he won't eventually lie to you too? And at what point after he's taken their money is he going to do the big "and she lives here too" reveal? Does he expect that to go over well? Or does he expect that you will continue this charade until you get married? Because honestly that sounds like a bad sitcom.

The whole wedding thing bugs me too. Look- they don't have to let you stay in his room in their home- this is one of many reasons why 27 year olds who make plenty of money choose not to live at home- but could they not find a couch for you to sleep on so you didn't have to drive home after the wedding? Or better yet your couldn't your boyfriend offer to sleep on the couch and give you his bed? It's little things like this that show that someone cares. If he lacks even this basic empathy and concern for you "hey it's late and you're tired and I don't want you driving" and he's afraid to stand up to his parents even when it's a small and reasonable compromise like this why would you want to date him, much less live with him?

Not to mention that if his parents are in fact as awful as you say then as long as you are with him you are stuck with them too. And if you get married they will be helicoptering you too and as has been demonstrated you cannot expect any support from your boyfriend when they turn their crazy on you.

I've had long commutes and I've been with guys like this- I'd pick the long commute any day.