Random depressing and unapologetically whingy vent:

21 year old boy -

Uhhhh (I wanna die. sorry.) Not because I’m in sooo much pain or I’m so anxious or anything, just because I’m so fucking bored. I’m so tired. My life is empty and often so am I. I pretty much laid in my bed the whole day, nothing else really interested me. This is no way to live. I feel I’m wasting my youth. I’m a very physically attractive person I’ve been told, but it’s never gotten me anywhere. I feel like I’m sliding down a wall ever so slowly, leaving a grey trail of sludge. I don’t even know if I have adhd really, I just have no motivation for tedious things (most worth while things), and am very socially uncomfortable so avoid people who I assume hate me (most who I have met). I hate making my brain focus on tedious things. I hate that that’s what life is mostly. I have to go to the gym or do some big bit of work in order to energise myself appropriately for the day but it’s soooo tedious and boring I don’t bother a lot of the time, even the smell of the gym slightly turns my stomach. I am unemployed coz my boomer parents are somehow kind of rich (yay I love knowing that I’m unfairly advantaged while people out there starve for no reason, makes me feel great about myself) and so there’s no reason for me to work yet- other than to stop being depressed of course.. Except, no that’s not much of a cure, because working is fucking depressing. 5 days a week, 5?! That’s mental! All my friends just work constantly to buy a nice car so they can feel like their favourite misogynistic rapper. We don’t hang anymore because they don’t have the time, and the time they do have they spend it on going to fields to listen to electronic music while on copious amounts of happy drugs. Great. (We used to play video games, and have sleep overs, and, yanno, talk).. So today I lay on my bed and think of sleeping. No one messages me. No one makes plans. And I don’t blame them.

Lol