Hi. I posted this over in the thread about gaining weight back but since I've just broken my lurker status I figure I should post here as well. I'm a single mom of three, about to start school and feeling terribly lazy.

Hey all.. long time lurker here and this'll probably get buried but I wanted to finally chime in on this one.

I lost about 75 lbs total. 40 lbs, then a happy plateau for a couple years, then 35 more and I felt fantastic! I've never had that kind of self-esteem, I never loved myself as much as I did then. I started working for weight watchers as a meeting leader teaching and inspiring hundreds of people every week. I did that for about 10 years and just loved it.

A couple years ago I had some significant stress, got through it ok, actually lost a few more pounds, but was living on adrenaline, cigarettes and booze... but it was ok, I was just getting through right now, I'd sort out my health and shit when I got through the stress. About a year and a half ago I lost my job- BUT- also had a chunk of cash so I could live comfortably, let the adrenaline die down and focus on raising my 3 kids.

I quit smoking. (Yeah?)

I have spent a year and a half on my ass, still a little stressed, overwhelmed, depressed about the crap we've been through. I've gained about 50? lbs. I have one pair of pyjamas, one pair of fat jeans and one sweatshirt that I live in. I'm too embarrassed to leave my house. I was helping hundreds of people every week and many of them live and work in my neighbourhood. I'm disgusted that I let myself get like this, and disgusted that I can't seem to get the motivation to change.. it just seems like such a huge uphill climb now.

*edit, I'm seriously considering going back to smoking just so I don't eat as much. I went 252 days but have been buying a pack here and there lately. So there's my awful story, lol! I guess I'm out of the closet on this sub now! Hi :)