I disagree with the other posters. Arguments in and of themselves are not necessarily a bad thing. Check out Tara Parker-Pope's book "For Better" which compiles a bunch of research studies on what makes marriage work and what makes it fail. Some couples stay married for years and have the same argument over and over.

Trouble areas (1) no arguing, because it means people have lost interest and there's "nothing worth fighting for" and (2) destructive, critical arguments. The "For Better" book is good on this - I would also check out The Art of Manliness blog on DIY Marriage Counseling ( http://www.artofmanliness.com/2009/07/08/diy-marriage-counseling/)

My husband and I used to argue the second way. Yelling, screaming, breaking stuff, silent treatment, etc. Finally we we start playing the shell game, think "Lord of the Flies" - the person with the "shell" has the right to speak. So let's say he does something that drives me crazy. We would start to argue and then one would say let's play the shell game. The person with the shell states very plainly what bothered them. The rules are (1) no blaming the other person (2) no bringing up past arguments (3) no name calling (4) no "you always do this." Focus on the one issue at hand. Example, "It bothers me when you leave the dish in the sink because ..." Then the other person repeats back, "I heard you say..." until it's clear the other person understands the concern. Then you swap the shell and let the other person respond, and you repeat back to them. Do this until you've aired it all out. Try to close the space between you but don't be so close you can touch. We sit in chairs, facing each other, just out of arm's reach.

We did this for about ten months and our lives got so much better. We haven't had a screaming argument in probably three years (been together over 9 years, married almost 8). So don't give up hope, OP.