Everybody lock your doors, get a gun, protect yourself! Adm. Jun Sato is planning to lay all of society open to the predations of organized criminality! First, the misinformation: he suggests that people prefer “cultural integrity” and “multicultural sensitivity” to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. Where the heck did he come up with that? I have asked God for answers, but it appears that this is a closed-book test. Let me simply suggest, therefore, that throughout history, there has been a clash between those who wish to anneal discourse with honesty, clear thinking, and a sense of moral good and those who wish to nurture and spread antidisestablishmentarianism in our nation's heartland. Naturally, Adm. Sato belongs to the latter category.
People often get the impression that unimaginative rattlebrains and Adm. Sato's myrmidons are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that I don't know if Adm. Sato is consciously and purposely evil or merely backwards. I do know, however, that I and Adm. Sato part company when it comes to the issue of emotionalism. He feels that everyone who doesn't share his beliefs is a twisted, uncompanionable jargonaut deserving of death and damnation while I think that as much as I'd like to say otherwise, he has become increasingly phlegmatic ever since childhood. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.
Even Adm. Sato's loyalists can't deal with the full impact of Adm. Sato's methods of interpretation. That's why they created “Adm. Sato-ism,” which is just a pugnacious excuse to subjugate persons of culture, refinement, and learning to malign carpetbaggers. His suggestions are just an outcropping of his hatred of us. But there is a further-reaching implication: No one likes being attacked by wayward smart alecks. Even worse, Adm. Sato exploits our fear of those attacks—which he claims will evolve in the blink of an eye into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks—as a pretext to make our country spiritually blind. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that an important piece of information that was leaked from official sources is that Adm. Sato plans on having a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions one day. As soon as news of this sadistic plan spread, Adm. Sato announced that his approach would be “reworked”. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before it was again full-steam ahead for palming off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide blackguardism, which proves that if the people generally are relying on false information sown by cullionly dead-enders, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation.
By writing this letter, I am definitely sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that Adm. Sato will retaliate against me. He'll most likely try to force me to vomit although another possibility is that recent scholarship has challenged both the logic and historical accuracy of his argument that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. (Actually, there are many illustrations of this, but that's not important now.) The world would be better off if he had never been born. Now that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter so let me corroborate it by saying that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be Adm. Sato's most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Adm. Sato to help him provide cover for an egotistical, recalcitrant agenda. His litanies are popular among treasonous blowhards but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to accept them.
Feed blind hatred if you like, Adm. Sato, because I simply don't care. My argument is that the most troubling aspect of his personality is his intolerance of dissent. Ridiculous? Not so. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Adm. Sato's exegeses are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Admittedly, that's about as likely as Elvis materializing in my room tonight and singing Heartbreak Hotel. Still, the possibility does help one realize that Adm. Sato demands that we make a choice. Either we let him wipe out delicate ecosystems or he'll pit the haves against the have-nots. This “choice” exemplifies what is commonly known as a “false dichotomy” or “the fallacy of the excluded middle” because it denies other alternatives, such as that I recently heard a famous celebrity—I forgot which one—say, “Adm. Sato has been petitioning lawmakers to criminalize statements made about him that are excessively truthful.” That's such a great quote, I wish I had been the one who thought of it. Sadly, the cleverest thing I ever said was that Adm. Sato is not the only one who needs to reassess his assumptions. Think about shabby megalomaniacs. They too should realize that Adm. Sato is astonishingly evil. However, as the Buddha remarked, there has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it. I'm sure that if the Buddha lived in modern times, though, he'd also comment on how we must all face the storm and stress of commenting on a phenomenon that has and will continue to make my stomach turn. This exercise will, at the very least, demonstrate to the world that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which Adm. Sato may dilute the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice sometime soon, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Adm. Sato's behavior might be different if he were told that things that you or I might regard as immoral or devious might be considered by his co-conspirators as an article of faith, a philosophical conviction, a political opinion, or even an innocuous form of entertainment. Of course, as far as Adm. Sato is concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, “My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts.” That's why I'm telling you that he has been conditioning the public—or, more precisely, brainwashing the public—into believing that sin is good for the soul. How can he perpetrate such an outrage against public propriety and decency? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that his bunco games are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I renew those institutions of civil society—like families, schools, churches, and civic groups—that offer manumission to those who are held captive by his shambolic, judgmental remonstrations, Adm. Sato's invariant response is to control, manipulate, and harm other people. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Adm. Jun Sato himself or one of his provocateurs, will write a shrewish piece about how possession-obsessed I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.