There was a nursing instructor that would ignore me when I asked questions, spend all her time with one student and let me know that I was doing a terrible job and that I wasn’t confident. So when I stopped asking her questions I accidentally made a mistake and she just kept repeating that I was a safety concern for my patient. When I was trying to ask her questions she would literally ignore me. Before every placement I would stress trying to prepare the best I can and I was always very nervous of making a mistake. After every placement I would cry and feel like I shouldn’t even be in nursing. After my last placement I just couldn’t handle it. I know it’s not completely her fault, I made mistakes (from not putting on my PPE in contact precautions because I thought the kardex said that the patient’s precautions ended, then during the day the sign off the patient’s room got taken off, so I thought maybe she got taken off precautions, and then I saw the sign back up and she was still in precautions - big misunderstanding and a lot of miscommunication) (also I confused a PICC for an IV because I was very stressed- I know this is no excuse and I did fill out an incident report and also was placed on a learning plan following this. I only attempted to flush it, nothing else.. my instructor stopped me and didn’t even tell me what I did wrong- I had to ask and she quickly told me that I wasn’t supposed to do that and disappeared, also didn’t want me to complete the incident report during my shift). I took a year off and decided to take my placement next year because I don’t want to fail and risk getting kicked out of nursing. I was crying 3 days straight trying to find a solution and looking into other careers. I came to the conclusion that I should stay because I like what nurses do to help the patients, and I also developed that patient-nurse bond which took me a bit to figure out. But I know that if I don’t get kicked out, nursing is what I want to do. I’m not saying all nurses are terrible but for sure I think my instructor hurt my mental wellbeing, I still continue to have nightmares involving my placement. She’s not all to blame and I understand that I made big mistakes but I don’t think I’m safety concern for a patient, I didn’t mean to do the mistakes I did, I had no guidance and need to focus on my wellbeing before I can take care of other patients because I don’t want to make any mistakes and I also don’t want to be crying almost in front of my instructor. I’m happy I took a year off, just hoping she won’t be my instructor again next year, because I might get kicked out.