Still struggling to get an official diagnosis, but I am positive I have PTSD from family trauma/DV. I tried to quit my grad program when I briefly became homeless earlier this year, and when my advisor told me to rethink my choice, I told her the truth. And I learned that grad programs are just like jobs in the respect that they don't want to hear about how you are an actual human being.

This semester, when memory issues impacted me again, she strongly suggested quitting the program (although I am, obviously, not homeless now, so this would not be my choice). She said it was because "I would have to make a serious effort to complete the comps test and paper." If I didn't, I would be forced to drop my final semester's worth of classes and lose that tuition too. Instead of crumbling, I pulled every single bit of effort out of me and stomped the paper (last week) and the exam (yesterday).

To my surprise, as it turns out, you can actually just show up for the comps exam, sign your name, and try again next time. She fucking lied to me. This person was my advisor through both undergrad and my grad program, and I'm floored.

I loathe when institutions tell you to "reach out when you need assistance" and even lay out templates (like you obviously had), as nothing more than a CYA.

I'm spite-surviving and spite-succeeding, and I hope you are too.