[NSFW] What made you lose your innocence?

I used to be one of those "think the best of the world" kind of people. One night I was out clubbing with some friends and I can tolerate my alcohol very well. On my second drink of the night I start to feel really woozy so I notice something is up and suspect someone has roofied my drink. The woozy feeling gets exponentially more terrible and my singular thought is just to get home in safety before whoever roofied my drink gets to me so I immediately get into a cab. I get worse and worse during the ride home and I feel the car stopping, but it's not at my place.

I will spare everyone the details, long story short I was taken advantage of. I woke up in my bed the next morning with all my possessions with no major injuries. But that night changed my life. I was so terribly scared and horrified I didn't tell anyone for three months and by then it was too late for a sexual assault test kit. Those three months were the worst of my entire life. It was quite literally living hell. I snuck around taking pregnancy tests every three days, praying to whatever benevolent god up there none of them would be positive. I started showering so many times a day it was borderline compulsive. I felt like the most dirty, soiled person on the planet but no amount of showering ever helped to scrub away that feeling.

I'm okay on the outside but my thoughts are cynical and bitter. It's terrible, involuntarily doubting everyone who ever wants to do something even vaguely nice for me. I crave love and relationships but they never end well because I am a self-sabotaging idiot. So many of my friends can't understand why I've changed and I've lost many of them as a result, but I can't bring myself to tell them. I hate the person this stranger has made me become.

TL;DR: Person who roofied my drink didn't get to reap it's benefits. But a cab driver did, and took a lot more than he thought he did.

/r/AskReddit Thread