I've had plenty of sleep paralysis episodes, enough for them to transition from the primal, instinctual terror, to weird, curiosity driven, visual out-of-body experiences.

One which stays with me and probably will for the rest of my life here, was a dream that was the most surreal experience I've ever had. It started with me inside a familiar room, with one of my best friend just chilling on the couch. Looking around, I remember the space being completely unrecognisable but at the same time, it felt very familiar and safe. We were smoking up, and my friend asked me if I'd want to roll another j and asked me to get some of the stash which was kept inside a cupboard in another room. I walked towards the cupboard, quite nonchalantly and somehow opened a door which led me outside. Looking back, I saw a wooden cottage, in the middle of grass hill, with several other cottages around, all connected with stone pathways.

Now that I was outside, I continued walking on one of the pathways, leading me away from "my" cottage. I remember looking down towards the foliage, and saw plenty of colourful insects and bugs. The whole place seemed like an eden of sorts, the colours of everything being so vibrant.

I walked along the said pathway, and saw other people all around, doing what they'd do on a bright sunny afternoon. Saw kids, biking along, an old couple just sitting on a bench, even a guy on a giant unicycle. None of this felt weird or out of place, in fact it all felt as if it was what was meant to be.

After a while, when I figured I had seen enough, I tried to go back to "my" cottage. I asked for directions from someone and was told to continue along a particular route and that I'll see an open air kitchen/cafe of sorts, which I did eventually pass by. Chefs, just doing what they do, and s kind of seating arrangement for guests to sit and eat at.

By this time, evening had set in, and just after I passed this open air kitchen, I saw marbled rectangular tables with marbled stools lining up the pathway ahead. One of these tables, was slightly away from the pathway, and I could see some people sitting, and chatting, but I couldn't really make out their faces from where I stood. I walked closer to this table, and immediately I could recognise a particular voice. The voice continued talking and laughing, and its this laughter which made me recognise that it was my mum. Very instantly I found myself calling out to my mother, as if just to make her aware that I am present. "Mom?", no response. I stepped closer, "Mom!?", and suddenly the group quietened down. I still couldn't see their faces, but I could tell that their eyes were upon me, looking straight at me.

This had started to freak me out a bit. But still I continued to step towards the table. I again called out to my mother, and now I was close enough to look who all they were. I saw my mother, my father, my brother, my dad's younger brother and his wife seated at the table, all looking blankly at me, as if I disturbed a stranger's family dinner. The fact that I could see my dad looking at me without an iota of recognition in his eyes, started to freak me out. I felt myself panicking and immediately I ran up towards him, asking him what is happening? "What is happening dad! Dad! It's me!"

I was so caught up in trying to figure out why they were not able to recognise me that I forgot to look right on the other side of the table, and sitting there, right beside my dad, was me, but a much younger version of me, me when I was 5 years old perhaps, just sitting there clinging onto the arm of my father, looking at myself, with those scared beady eyes.

The moment I saw this 5 year old version of me, I knew I had stepped into some weird place. Fear gripped me, and I remember looking straight up towards the sky, and the entire sky was lit up by these gorgeous green and purple auroras. My vision was filled with this deep blue night sky with emerald and purple waves go clouds and immediately I woke up and felt my head just snap up, as if I was held under water and I literally pulled my head out to take a much required breath of air.

I was breathing heavily, and sweaty all over. It just felt as If I witnessed something so ethereal in nature, and yet it resonated feelings which felt so innate. It really felt like I was home.