See this is a problem you need to address in my humble opinion. Sounds like maybe your guy has a porn addiction. It does happen. Sounds odd, but it happens. I personally feel like porn is a way to explore things outside your relationship without actually doing it. To take fantasy a step further without it becoming a distraction or problem in your actual sexual life with a partner. At times you can share this with a partner. Although watching porn together can be a bit awkward at first. If he is choosing jerking off over the real thing and it affects you emotionally obviously there is problem. He may not even think about it like that. Have you expressed that it bothers you in a rational and non-judgemental way? Have you ever considered trying to share his interest in it? If not and your not into it thats ok also. Basically what Im hearing is you feel less desirable as he chooses porn over sex with you. Totally understandable. Think if the roles were reversed? Would he be jealous and upset if you did not want to get down and dirty with him, yet wanted to take care of yourself while watching porn. Most likely. I guess my suggestion here is to try and approach the subject in a way where he hears you but you are not shutting either of you down as sexual beings. He needs to hear that you would rather he come for you and not the porn. He may just love looking at other women and fantasizing about sex with many people. He may just be very visual when it comes to self pleasure (alot of men are). I dont want to get too personal, but do you engage in self pleasure? Have you used porn for it? If not thats ok. If so thats ok. I'm a married man and use porn for self pleasure. I also watch porn with my wife when we are in the mood for that sort of thing. In my case she may not want sex and would prefer I just go knock one out over being sexually frustrated (kinda the opposite of what you have going on). I get the sneaking suspicion she watches it alone also, but is a bit embarrassed to admit it. I honestly could care less. Basically its ok. Yet if it is truly affecting you emotionally you need to address it. Not only with your guy, but yourself also. Porn does not have to be a part of a healthy realationship. Yet it can be. Take care.