Passive aggressive, possessive gifts from narcissistic parent(s)

Kind of, this happened recently:

Background: 29F, SG. My nmother knows I am sensitive about my weight and comments on it repeatedly, despite me asking her not to. This has gone on since I was about 14-15 when I started developing a more womanly shape. She will verbally comment, or grab my stomach, or tell me "you shouldn't be eating that". A few years ago, when I told her it upsets me, she had said "if you're going to work in mental health, you'll hear a lot worse from your patients" - as if she's doing me a favour by repeatedly commenting on it, she probably believes she is helping me by toughening me up. In reality, no patient has ever spoken to me the way she has, or even commented negatively on my appearance.

FYI, I am not even overweight! I'm 5'11", and usually a size UK12-14, BMI around 22-24, depending on time of year really. I'm very pregnant at the moment, so a UK16. She is overweight, however, but not much.

When I saw her in December and she commented on my weight, I didn't rise to it, just ignored it. 2 weeks later, she mentions my weight in an email. I respond to the email, but not that comment. Another 2 weeks pass, I receive a package in the mail from her - a hideous tent-like size UK20 top. I have never even been a size 20!!!! It went straight in my bag of clothes to donate to charity, I didn't even try it on. I wanted to send it back to her, but then she will know it upset me.

It's so pathetic, that she is now taunting me by sending me things which she knows will trigger me, straight to my home. Like she's proving that she can still upset me even if I don't reply to her. Like she still holds control over my emotions.

So yeah, now on NC until after the baby is here, and then with very strict boundaries. I don't need that stress.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread