male,29, suffering multiple sklerosis. i've nubness and neuropathic pain almost all over my body. its not that bad, still, could be better. when i wasn't diagnosed, i recognized, that whenever i play a song (i'm a musician) i make mistakes. there were two different sorts of mistakes: the ones my "hands" created by pressing down the wrong notes and the ones where i just couldn't memorize how the song continues. i've had troubles, finding the right words. i was saying banana to an apple, or just didn't find the word i was searching for. i was talking differenttly to people. it all got mixed up. for example: i've been talking to my dad like he was my best bro, using paraphrases i only used when talking to my buddy. wearing cloths feels pretty weird now for me (due to the nubness and pain). everything feels different now, not like it used to be, but i get used to the new me somehow. best thing is summer now, waering short pants, no shirt etc. but then, there is still wind. wind tickles me now. i'll get over it. depression: i always wanted to be a musician but i was about to become a teacher for children with special needs, cause you need a serious job, you know? right... so i reached a point, i just couldn't get out of bed in the mornings anymore. i woke up, went to the toilette, just to hop into bed again, continuing to sleep. there was a time, i literally thought: i have to kill the music in me, to finish my studies. it was the worst thought my brain ever developed. it leaded me to do nothing at all. no social interaction, no girlfriends (even though i have to admit that im a pretty hot guy), no sex, no music. all the fun parts of life were drifting away from me. but it didn't change nothing at all. i just couldn't continue my studies. so there was this one morning.. i woke up and i felt nothing on the inside anymore. usually this feeling has gotten better over the day, but not on this time. at the end of the day, i called my parents, talked to my mother and had a breakdown. i told them, that i never wanted to become a teacher, that i only started studiying becasue of the reasonable part in me. becasue musician is not a "job". it's not what people and society are expecting from me. i told my parents, that i finally want to do, what i always wanted, beeing a musician, giving lessons etc. they accepted it with concern. then, two weeks later, the MS hit me. i was aobout to get my daily shopping home. the sun was shining, i've had new shoes and thought: what a great day, what a fantastic life, new shoes, a new life and then i recognized the nubness in my left foot. i first thought, it was because of the new shoes. maybe they were too tight. but it didn't get better. 1 week later, i moved into a hospital. the complete left side of my body was numb now. i had the feeling that there were pins and needles all over my body. i felt like i was wearing a corset. every time i breath in, i felt like i had to breath against that corset..

now, 3 years later, i'm a music producer. i'm still not making money but i stopped studying. i stopped worrying. still, the symptoms didn't stop, but the present, it's all that matters. you gotta fcking do, what you want to do. do it now, cause there is no tomorrow.