I was ambivalent because I had a temper problem inherited from my dad and his dad. I thought I would make a terrible parent, and did not want to be like my dad, even though I still love him.

I've had two, and they are literally the Christmas of my life. Watching them learn and discover the world has been wonderful. There are times that I'm stressed beyond compare, mostly because of having to coparent with a narcissist. They are in their preteens right now, which is like having a real-life pair of Oscar the Grouches without the laugh track.

And yet? I still love it. It's work, but it's work that breathes energy into life.

I am divorced, single, with limited help from my parents (because I am an independent cuss,) and a coparent who is only involved in order to sabotage as much as possible. I am financially secure now, but had been laid off twice in a row right after the divorce. I am lonely. I wish I had help. Most of all, I wish I could have known what it was like to parent as a team, and not have to live in fear of what will happen next.

But I would do it again, if I had to start over. There is no way to describe what it is like to watch two people grow up. Even if I screw up at least half of what I try to do as a parent.