Heeeeey. I've gone through a lot of what you're describing here. I'm 27 now, and have a really, really good handle on a lot of this. i was hugely unstable and anxious for most of my college years, now i'm on track for a programming job and i routinely get compliments on how happy i seem. Here's a bunch of what i do!

//first things.

it's going to be okay. it really is. you're working at a solution, and at a much younger age than most who decide to work with these problems. I was 24 when I decided to turn it around. there will be obstacles, always. but you can be so, so much happier. and you will! though you're working to change it, it's natural and okay to feel the way you do, especially given what you've been through.

if you're feeling bad right now, here's this:

http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play

okay. here's my methods.

//exercise

this is the most important thing. apart from helping you relax, and giving you a tangible sense of progress in your life, exercise feels GREAT. that's important - it's easier to follow through with.

• cardio

  I was dealing with a lot of anxiety attacks until i found that running made them go away. go figure! get some good shoes, get a source of music, and find a place you'd like to explore. and just go! it's wonderful for us introverts - headphones on, no need to interact. make sure to stretch your IT band!

• weightlifting/bodyweight fitness

  again, nothing feels better than seeing your body just get fuckin sexy. no gym? no problem. make a cup of coffee, read through the /r/bodyweightfitness routines, and make yourself a schedule. stick to it. no excuses. you can always make excuses, the only thing that'll get results is making time for the things that are important. use good form!

• stretching

  apart from

//meditation

//diet

• paleo is real good.

• cut out excess sugar (NO SODA), drinking, and smoking.

//sleep

-

//

//awkwardness

the focus on, will people like me, is the issue. it sounds like you've had some toxic communities in your past, and it can be tempting to think that everyone in the world is like that, just seconds

what do you want?

//attitude.

how to understand yourself.

//life

have a plan.