Yeah life can be rough.

At twenty I'd just pulled through a chronic illness which ruined most of my childhood, was juggling a double major and two part time jobs for almost 4 years as I had to leave home. From about 14-24 I didn't have any free time, it was just grind, no weekends, no time with friends, no partner, nothing.

Life could have been worse, I wasn't walking dirty buckets of water 30 kilometres everyday and eating one half meal a day, but it certainly wasn't "the good life".

Anyways, it's been roughly 7 years and I almost fully recovered from my disability, completed my degrees and postgraduate courses, have found a job I like and a partner, also in the process of paying off a house I own. Also sitting here rubbing my hands greedily while I watch my crypto bubble away.

Took over a decade before I felt like life was where I wanted it in my head. Had to work through it and there were a lot of down points, there were certainly times of depression (I think mine manifested as pessimism, irritation, low patience, periods of poor motivation etc).

Call it blind optimism but I just told myself if I work towards what I want with a plan and resilience, I'll eventually get it. Took its damn time though. Before you consider going through with your current plan, what do you want in life? What is important to you? Sit down and make a plan, look at the long term and give it your best shot, all you have.