I don't want everything to end this way, I just want the happy life we had for the last decade back.

I think this is what you really want. Not some wild killing. Now it might be impossible to restore the exact life you had. But it doesn't mean you can't lead an equally happy life again. However you shouldn't set yourself a hard deadline! We all will probably die in the end, but if you set yourself such a date you will never know what would have come afterwards. I understand why you feel this miserable but I really think you shouldn't expect yourself to be able to change everything to the better in such a short time. Look back to the past as a nice way to live, but don't see it as the only way. Step by step you can improve your situation to be happy. You might not make it in time, but why would it matter when you make it all?

I don't think that's possible anymore though. I think in a couple months you guys will be reading about me in the news.

I had homicidal fantasies in the past and they really are damn tempting. But what's the point of destroying it all? Why can't you just leave them do what they want (even if it was cruel to you) and do your own thing without them? You don't even have to forgive neither of them, you can be as angry as you want about and to them, as long as you just don't kill them or yourself because of it, it won't hinder you from being happy again.

Maybe you should see it like this: When they did something stupid (to you) why should you do something stupid (to them)? Be the clever one and don't do anything stupid at all.

I hope you won't do anything bad and will be able to be happy again! I'm sure the people on here (including me) will be happy to help you with the process of fixing your life again.