I live in a rather rural part of the country and there are far more people than jobs in my area and hard drug use is at epidemic levels. I've noticed that not restraining your kids seems to be a cultural thing here.
I'm a reserve paramedic (a nice name for still-certified, inactive) and I've responded to many MVAs. The percentage of MVAs here with unrestrained children is almost unbelievable it is so high- above 40%. I've grown so tired of calling the State Police when I see unrestrained child passengers that I just text the pictures. Thankfully, they do follow up- and often very quickly.
Seeing five+ unrestrained children in the rear of a 20+ year-old Cavalier or Explorer is a very common thing here. Sadly, so is seeing them buried because mommy couldn't be bothered to buckle them in.
Consider yourself fortunate that you haven't yet seen anything mind-cracking. I've scraped more people off of the highway than I care to count and, while it is always as terrible as things can be, the kids are the worst.
If we're swapping stories, here's my worst (:
The worst MVA I ever worked was the last I ever worked. I couldn't take it after this one.
My buddy (also on the squad) and I were coming back from dinner one night when we came upon a car on its side between a telephone pole and the mountainside, approximately 25 miles outside of town. He called it in, I grabbed my bag and we went to work. While assessing the mother, who was high as a kite, complete with spilled pills all over the car, we asked if anyone else was in the car. She slurred "No, honey, just me. Ha ha ha!" Fucking drug addicts.
We worked to get her stabilized until the squad showed up, but there was some hold up- another MVA if I recall- small squad. We requested an air ambulance (SOP here in the sticks), but they were grounded due to fog.
While we were tending to her, the car caught fire. We managed to pull her clear before things got too hot and again asked if anyone else was involved. She repeated her previous answer. She lied. She fucking lied.
She wasn't alone. At least, she hadn't been when she left the house. No, this piece of human trash placed her twin toddlers in the back seat- without car seats or restraints of any kind and took off. Higher than rent, she lost control of her car- at high speed. Her kids were thrown from the back seat through the windshield and into the side of the mountain.
By the time that we heard one of them cry out, it was too late. My buddy stayed with the driver and I ran to the kids. I found them lying inches from each other. The little boy was dead from an apparent combination of significant spinal and head trauma. The little girl was nearly as bad and could barely breathe.
I stabilized her spine and my buddy ran over to assist. God, she was bleeding badly. We worked on her for what seemed like hours (really only about ~30 minutes-- damned rural squad response times are terrible) and did all that we could to save her, praying all the while that if there were some compassion in the universe, that this poor, innocent little girl would live. She arrested. We administered CPR and she came back, but only long enough for to sear her face into my memory forever. She took in a deep breath, looked into my eyes and mustered a little smile.
He and I will swear on a stack of Bibles or signed copies of HHGTG that as she smiled, she said, in her toddler voice "s'okay."
Almost instantly after that, she fell limp and arrested again. My heart broke and we tried CPR again, but it was no use.
The trauma was too severe- she had been bleeding out of her head and was obviously bleeding internally. Without the ambulance, we had no blood to give her. We followed the pediatric hypovolemic shock procedures to the letter, but it wasn't enough.
Their mother was a destitute addict with only her car and community action council-provided house to her name. She couldn't even afford to bury her kids, but somehow managed to bond out of jail, so the squad, with the help of a local church, took care of the funeral and burial. The mom didn't show up until after it was over because she had been out partying the night before. That still staggers me-- partying the night before your kids' funeral. I know that people have demons and grieve in different ways, but this lady took the freaking cake.
I joined the squad to do some good and help people, but in the end, trying to do that broke me a bit. I find it extremely difficult to have compassion for drug addicts who care so little for the lives of their innocent children that they would jeopardize them so gravely.
I had responded to many MVAs, some of which were more severe than this, but this is the one that did it for me. Yes, I followed up with system-mandated counseling. I know that her death wasn't my fault. We did all that we could- I know that. It just completely broke my heart.
I'm no longer fully active on the squad, although they list me as a reserve PM.
The squad's auxiliary has this thing they do around the first day of summer where they leave flowers at the graves of the kids that didn't make it. It probably isn't healthy, but at least we know that someone remembers them. The start of summer is always a bit of a heartbreak around here.
It's been four years since that dreadful night and I still tear up thinking about it.
TL;DR: As a paramedic, responded to MVA where mother of two toddlers said that she was alone. She wasn't and they both died- broke my heart. BUCKLE YOUR KIDS IN (properly) AND DON'T DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE If you drive high or drunk, fuck you.
Sorry for the novella.