i understand your points but in reality you don't know me or her or the full story you only speculate from what you have read. We have been back and forth from country to country several times each, staying with each other for long periods of time before we got married, and were extremely happy together each time. The time i wrote about was the occasion when she came here and wasn't good, that was the last time she came to the UK for 5 months. Our plans before we got married where for her to come to the UK but we eventually scrapped that because the UK isn't were we pictured our self's living, so we decided for me to come live in Michigan and we have even started on all the paperwork and were saving money and waiting to send off. Only in the past month has she been cold towards me and said all that stuff, and given there are oceans between us and we are not physically with each other and cant actually interact puts a massive strain on any relationship, (which you wouldn't and clearly don't understand) When we have spoke recently she says that she loves me and she misses me and she wants to come and see me. The only explanation and reason she has said all of that stuff is because of her BPD. The reason for her being cold towards me is because of her BPD. The reason i don't entirely trust her is because inst it not uncommon for people with BPD and Bipolar to be unfaithful when they go through break down, and given we are miles apart and don't see each other its emphasized ten fold. I have always trusted her 100% up until when all this came about and she said all that stuff. I'm not considering divorce nor never have at all she is the only one that mentions it.
what kind of advice i am looking for is helpful advice from someone that has been in a situation similar to me or her. someone that has an empathetic viewpoint and isn't trying to poke and prod at the situation to aggravate a response.