Reddit, what was your most memorable "witty response" to a conversation/argument, and what was the reaction?

Got in a fight (unwillingly) with this kid in the Sonic parking lot. Well call him Tool. This was back in high school and it was over a girl (of course). Anyway there we were sitting in my mom's mini van, didn't have my own car yet, and one of his friends, who I've known a while, not my 'friend' but I've known him since grade school, comes over to say hey and let me know that Tool was here too and I made a comment about how I hated the kid, and I guess he told Tool when he got back to his group. Here comes Tool and his posse over to harass us for no reason. He's taunting and calling me out to fight. I have no intention of fighting, not worth the time. Finally he spits on the driver side window and I look at my 2 friends in the car, after a moment, we all exit the vehicle together and they circle around to back me up. There's something of a crowd gathering now to see what's about to go down. Tool is a delinquent in every sense of the word so I try to avoid him as much as possible. He's all bent out of shape because I had just called him a fag to his friend and started talking shit. After a couple minutes of me dismissing his request to fight, he rubs his hands together all cocky and says "I'll tell you what, I'm gonna turn around, and if you make one more smartass comment I'll beat your ass," to which I immediately replied, "wait wait, so let me get this straight... I can still make a smartass comment as long as you're still facing me?"

His face was seething with anger lol. Everyone, including his friends were laughing and hollering. Seconds later he took a swing which I was completely unready for. Fortunately he missed. MISSED my face from a foot away from me lol. My best friend at the time IMMEDIATELY intervened like a badass. He was like 6ft 4 or so and out of nowhere he like pivoted around me and slammed Tool hard a few times. When he realized that none of this guy's 'friends' jumped in to help, he backed off so it was 1v1. If the fight had been recorded, I'd imagine it would have looked like one of those cringe worthy bully videos where neither the bully or the victim really knows how to fight lol.

tl/dr: "I'll tell you what, I'm gonna turn around, and if you make one more smartass comment I'll beat your ass," to which I immediately replied, "wait wait, so let me get this straight... I can still make a smartass comment as long as you're still facing me?"

/r/AskReddit Thread