Preface, this story is about drinking and driving and other terrible decisions. I'm fully aware of how stupid I was. This was many years ago, long before Uber, even before cell phones were affordable...
The skinny is that I was on a business trip in Florida with a coworker and we'd flown out the Friday before so we could party over the weekend. We went to a bar on Saturday night and had a good time. I was way drunk so my friend was like, "I'll drive us home." On the way back to our hotel we got a wild hair and decided to go swimming...at 2am. He parked my rental car on the beach and we ran into the water fully clothed.
After a minute he realized the car key had come out of his pocket. We felt around hopelessly in the sand until something in the water brushed against or bit the other guy's foot, and we ran out of the water.
We were walking back to the motel soaking wet when I hear squealing tires behind me. I turn around just in time to see a bunch of guys leaning out of a car and multiple eggs incoming. Neither of us were hit, but we were worried they'd come back, so we ran it the rest of the way.
I called the tow truck then immediately passed out on the bed with the motel room door wide open. I woke up to a big dude shaking the bed with is foot saying, "you the guy who parked his car on the beach?"
I got up asked my buddy if he'd come drive the car back but he was like, "It's a mile down the road. I'm really tired. You'll be fine." For some reason I agreed. I got in the tow truck and rode back to where the car was parked. The guy made a key, unlocked the door. I said 'thanks' a few hundred times, to which he just rolled his eyes, took my credit card number, and left. I got behind the wheel and realized there was a parking ticket on the windshield.
It was now probably 4am and I'm driving back to the motel. I see a pair of headlights coming my way, the only other car on the road, and I was like, 'fuck me it's a cop for sure.' It was. We both pulled up to a four-way stop at the same instant. He didn't move, just waited for me to drive slowly past him.
I was like, 'well, the title of world's biggest dip shit is all mine. Here comes a DUI on a business trip. I'll spend the weekend in jail then get fired when I don't show up on Monday.'
The cop pulls forward into the intersection and starts to do a U turn. I'm panicking like crazy, watching through the rear view mirror. The motel is within sight, literally a few blocks ahead. The cop made it about 1/2 way through the u-turn and stopped. He paused for a moment then cranked the wheel and sped off in the other direction.
I figure I used up a lifetime's worth of luck right then. I don't know why the cop changed his mind. Maybe got a call, maybe just wanted to freak me out. Who knows. My life could've easily taken a quick turn off a cliff and that experience scared me bad. I never drove drunk again after that.
I also never paid the parking ticket. Guess that makes me a wanted man in north east Florida.