My old SO was an alcoholic. When we met, we were both social drinkers. I have fantastic genetics for drinking both physiologically and socially (no predispositions for alcoholism, don't experience hangovers, and don't have any negative behaviours associated with drinking--I just become progressively happier and more talkative until I fall asleep).

My (then) SO was a great drinking buddy, and a lot of fun to be around. When we got together, I got a lot of flack from our mutual friends, saying my SO wasn't "on my level" intellectually or physically. Though I was (in a very resigned, and quiet way) aware of this, it always embarrassed and angered me that they would point it out, because who cared, really, if this person wasn't as attractive as me or didn't share my academic or social interests, if they were a good person, I liked them, and they were fun?

Without alcohol, my SO was still a fun person to be around, had a fantastic sense of humor, and was so adoring of me. Over time though, I began to notice they drank more and more, even in the mornings. Around this time, I noticed that things had changed for them while sober. I guess I would describe it as an irritable melancholy. I would periodically check in with them from time to time to make sure it wasn't an issue, but it took perhaps 9 months for "maybe excessive, but not concerning drinking" to turn into "very concerning, unhealthy habits". I didn't want to drink with my SO any more, because I felt this would tacitly encourage the behaviour. I tried to steer our activities towards non-drinking related things but they would show up drunk anyway. After a certain period of time, it escalated into full blown alcoholism. My SO became jealous, possessive, anxiety-prone, and rude. They would show up at my house drunk, wordlessly B-line it for the kitchen, and start drinking my whiskey. I had to start hiding it. They became enraged with me once for "choosing (another friend)'s cards" in Cards Against Humanity "too much to be a coincidence" and accussed me of being infatuated with that person. Once, they woke up in the middle of the night and vomited all over my face. Still, I thought I could help. I had many talks with them, and was as supportive as I could be, but enough was enough. The abusiveness, the jealousy, and the irritability directed towards me was too much for me to tolerate, so I ended things. They tried desperately to make me reconsider but I would not. I do not tolerate disrespect, and I do not tolerate jealousy. Things were over for us, and it was in large part due to the fact that he hated the person he was when he wasn't wasted. It didn't matter what anyone said, or what anyone did, they just didn't think themselves worth while. And now, he's not. I'm sure he still has good qualities in there somewhere, but I don't know where they are or how to access them. He's been effectively infantalized by his alcohol consumption, a child in a man's clothing, stumbling around demanding the world give him what he thinks he's been cheated out on. I don't know what that is. Love? Respect? He had good friends and he squandered them. The last time we hung out, after several years of a hiatus (I moved to a different state), he said he was sober. He wasn't. I left. He told me I was a terrible friend and person for leaving him in his "time of need", but I politely and firmly reiterated that I was leaving the situation because I did not feel comfortable with his decision to drink, NOT leaving him as a person. He responded that it felt like a personal betrayal, and he wanted me out of his life. So I left, for the last time.

I guess that's all there is to say about it.