I've talked about it a decent amount, but what's a bot more anyways.

I wish I was an attractive woman but I'm a 6'0" deep voiced broad shouldered guy. I'm okay with that, and being male is a neutral idea to me. I do regret not caring about anything and ignoring this a few years ago when I was still 5'4", and thought it was only a fetish. I wish I wasn't so apathetic.

I'm hoping I don't end up dysphoric in the future and end up regretting this now. I've spoken to multiple people anonymously online and I still don't know if I can even consider myself trans.

Suicide has also been on my mind alot lately, and I could see it being how I die, whenever that is. I'm not willing to do it as of yet, but the concept is there.

For awhile I thought I was schizoid, given my lack of interest in family and social interaction, but now I want to have a girlfriend to hug me.

No need to respond to any of this, I just wanted to vent. I'll delete this later, probably.

Thanks for asking.