My mom tries not to but she's convinced that we don't pay anywhere near enough attention to our two (because when she visited when we only had one ad when the second was born, we were exhausted by the end of the day) so when I've mentioned possibly having a third she's just horrified. On the one hand, I understand -- I'd feel the same way if I saw what she's seen, and I can't seem to get out, when she's mentioned it, that she only saw a particular set of circumstances and it's not usually like that. On the other, I have told her that we do pay enough attention to them.

She also thinks my husband is useless because he "only" works his ass off enough to buy us a house in Silicon Valley within 3 years of moving here and starting his first job out of school. Except that's not all he does. He does stuff around the house here and there and he takes care of them twice a week while I go out by myself, but I stay home with the kids so it's perfectly reasonable, Mom, for me to do the vast majority of the household stuff and it doesn't mean he's not pulling his weight. So no, it's not like your relationship with my dad where you both worked but you never trusted him to get anything done (with good reason, because he has severe ADHD and can't keep track of shit, but when I had my first and asked him shouldn't he know the answers to the questions he was asking me, he said nobody let him do anything with his babies) -- because if you recall, Mom, it was me who pointed out that my previous relationship was just like your marriage and that's what made you realize that it wasn't a good idea to stay for the kids. So I think I'd know if my marriage had the same thing going on.

Anyway. She visits when she can, which is about 2-3 times a year, but that's still not enough to know what our lives are like now. And she doesn't seem to believe me when I tell her it's not like she thinks it is. I'm 35 goddamned years old. Give me some credit.