My time to shine!
When going through a door I check to see if the next person is just a little too far away for me to hold the door for them, and if they are I always hold it. The anxiety on their face is priceless.
No matter if I heard you or not, I always ask "huh?" to make you repeat yourself.
I empty a straw full of water on the sugar packets at any restaurant I visit. This annoys my wife.
Also annoys my wife: after eating I brush all of my crumbs onto her side of the table so she looks like a messy eater.
I wait until the elevator door is closing before I press the up or down arrow to get on.
I've unscrewed the top of the salt shaker once or twice in my life at restaurants.
I love going into retail stores and unfolding the shirts on the table pretending I'm checking them out.
I get a kick out of stopping abruptly in the middle of a busy sidewalk and pretending I'm taking in the sites.
Anyone who asks for directions, I sometimes give the wrong ones if I know I won't be there if they come back to bitch me out.
I've once or twice signed out at a bar then left a napkin on my drink and left.
I'm sure there's more.