My drill sergeant was a ranger instructor. Egads I loved that crusty psychopath of a man. He ate sandbags and shat brass.
Oh hey, it's time for a drunk grizzled old man story. On the Bayonet Course we were instructed to do things a certain way. We were to run up to the target, yell 'AAARGH!' and bayonet it before moving on to the next station. That was all we were to do.
My turn came. I was almost last in line and the people who went right before me were kinda lazy about it. I was feeling enthusiastic. When I got to the first dummy I ran up to it, butt-stroked it in the face, yelled 'Fuck you!', and stuck it the guts with my bayonet so hard that I had a little trouble pulling my m16 back out, because the guts were thick rubber tire treads. He smoked me. After about ten minutes of front back go's he asked me if I knew what I did wrong. I can't remember exactly but I think I told him I was wrong not to stick that bastard twice just to be sure he was dead. He chortled, sent me on my way, and told me I'd earned a ten minute phone call back home to my family. In this world there really isn't a higher praise or reward than that.
Another time there was a fight in the barracks. I didn't even mean to but I made someone so angry that they just came out of nowhere and started slugging me in the face. We were new and we were all under extreme pressures. But the D.I.'s got wind of commotion and we get called outside and I'm the only guy bleeding, so of course I get asked what the fuck just happened.
And I tell this man I don't know. He wants to know who did it, makes me stand at the front of formation and look over every other face, but I genuinely don't know because we all look the fucking same and none of us have remembered each others names or faces yet because we've only been there three days. He smokes my ass for over an hour and all I can ever tell him is that I don't know, while he thinks I'm protecting my buddies with indomitable willpower. I am completely unable to persuade him otherwise. If I'd known the name of the guy who started sucker-punching me in a stairwell I'd have eagerly given it to him, but I didn't and I couldn't and nobody else was speaking up. That guy and me eventually wound up being good friends though and we covered each others asses more than once.
This whole while though this ranger instructor drill sergeant is convinced I do know and that I'm just strangely loyal to people who punch me in the face out of nowhere. He puts me through the wringer and it was honestly one of my hardest days of basic training. He makes threats and promises UCMJ action, and even uses a few interrogation techniques. But through it all the only thing I can tell him is that I don't know. When it's all over he tells me I did a good job but to never lie to him again. I try to persuade him that I have not lied, but he tells me I've already done good enough of a job.
Another time I was sick. I got something viral and got so worn down that I passed out in the bathroom, and when I woke up I was in a puddle of vomit being held down by my drill instructors while I convulsed and blew puke out of my lungs. He was there. He asked me how the fuck I was awake and kept rolling me onto my side so I could blow the puke out of my lungs. He was the calmest guy in the room and helped me not panic even though I couldn't really breath. It was just the flu mixed with extreme stress. My temp was recorded at 103 and I had to be put on quarters for four days.
Man do I miss him yelling at me and bossing me around. Best and easiest time of my life. One of the proudest moments of my life was when he referred to me as 'a psycho that could soldier'. Told me I was wasted on the ordinance corps. I wish I could have been one of his men while serving in the regular army. I'd have eagerly followed him to any smelly, violent armpit of the Earth just for the privilege of carrying out his commands.