I am bisexual. It feels good to say that out loud. I knew for a long while, but was in denial and fell into the trapping of heteronormativity. I also realized that how I view women isn’t really how the media told me a woman should be lusted after or loved. I was afraid to admit it to myself because I am afraid of telling my family. There’s only 2 people in it left- my mom and my grandpa, and I’m afraid of losing them or my grandpa seeing me different. I don’t know how to convey that I am the same person I’ve always been. I love my mom but I don’t think she’d understand. She puts a lot of pressure on me to be “perfect”, and in my head, I confused my sexuality with that “perfection” for too long. I’m feeling more at ease with my sexuality now that I am living on my own and financially independent, but I’m in a relationship with a man (I am a woman) and that causes me to worry more about coming out now. I’m afraid and worried they won’t get it. I’m also afraid that my mom will be relieved. That she’ll “accept” I’m bisexual, but be relieved that “at least I ended up with a man”. I recognize the privilege of being in a relations up with a man and seeming straight, and am worried that by not coming out I’m falling into that protection and privilege and not advocating as much as I can for my community. I want to live authentically but coming out also feels inauthentic because of my relationship, which I’m very happy in.