Im a law student from Munich, Germany, 21M.

You do not need to improve yourself. You are a kid and Thailand is not a third world country. Its a transitioning country ;).

But really. You do not need to improve yourself. You need to be happy with yourself. If you fail to achieve the things you think you need to be happy. Then there are either obstacles hindering you from achieving those goals or - more likely - you do not actually want to achieve those goals. So what you are doing and, I guess, every 2nd or 3rd child ever has done, is that you are increasingly depressing yourself because you are not who you think you should be. The problem is that you are a kid. And as a kid there are tons and tons of things you are confronted with, so that you just dont feel like you can make the decision today to just say, fuck that, why do I even worry about that crap? And then get up tomorrow and do things how you actually want them to be done. Also kids like to be dramatic about their life, the issues, problems, the philosophy, the world, the implications etc. etc... That may just be a phase, but realize that you gotta get back to life at some point and experience joy again.

Look. Being a hot-shot architect or surgeon isnt that much better than being a barkeeper or taxi driver. Unless you need extra money or you need extra respect or you need that extra ego boost. What do rich germans buy with their money? Relaxation time in thailand where they sit at the beach and just do nothing for weeks in a row. If you want to do something you do it, because you want to.

Good grades dont just happen to people. They are hard work. So its our parents job to scare and force us to get good grades, while we are young and do not yet know what we want to do and why we want to do (this motivational factor comes later in life).

Your primary goal right now, very fucking obviously, is to stop stuffing your face, at least if you are really getting irreversibly fat (yes there is a point of no return) and make some friends. Because that is what you want, isnt it? So do your best at school, but work on your looks and find a friend. Any friend. Then add another friend. And another friend. Failure is a part of life. It lurks around every corner, and just as my surgeon father told me the other day, the fear of complete loss of control and failure in life NEVER goes away, because progress and improvement = new opportunities to fail. So even if you end up being that architect or surgeon, you might say, oh my god, if i dont make the best design ever for this huge client my life is ruined or if i dont give this celebrity the perfect pair of fake boobs, my career is ruined...

The only thing that can help you to navigate those REAL challenges in life, that happen either way, whether you are a housekeeper, taxi driver or president, the only way to deal with these risks, failures, stresses... is to be grounded. To be happy with yourself. Because everyone falls and fails. Everyone. But not everyone gets up. Not everyone thinks its normal to fail.

So, how can you improve yourself? By asking yourself how can you be happy with yourself?