Throwaway for..reasons, so not really, this year it started great, finnally had a good summer having fun at parties and going out almost everyday, mind you this is a time where i really got into weed, it was great i was having a great time finnally after a long time a pretty girl got into me (she blew me off though, drunk me embarrased myself) and it was good overall, started school continued smoking, continued to hang out with friends, was surprsingly good at school, had a massive crush on this psychologist that works at my school who is just gorgeous, school was a lot of fun with my friends, finnally was doing sports again, until i decided to rip off some kid at the school by selling him weed(first time doing it btw) everything was set for the next day, wich was the day before vacations and april fools day (bit ironic huh) and that same day that kid (who is honestly a how do i put it...a little behind when it comes to social life) started blabbing about how i was gonna sell him weed and it never got out of class but some kids hated me so im guessing they mustve talked (that day i also brought my weed and bought a friend some weed for vacations) so the principal and some coordinators come to class and said they had to check our bags because of some "missing phone" bs... So i freaked out and could only think about hiding but guess who was the first one to get checked, yeahh...me, they searched my bag and found the weed cigar i had rolled for the kid, they didnt found my other weed luckily but still it was enough to have me in trouble, so i freaked out and spent the day worrying about how i was gonna get expelled and i went on to the principals office to have a chat with her and a coordinator and i went on a meltdown and started talking out of my ass like "marijuana isnt bad(wich i believe to be true but should had said it there) it makes me smarter, i smoke it everyday and have good grades" etc etc. So basically i dug my own grave and was expelled(my budy got found out too and expelled aswell, he on military school now).

After that my life went downhill, my family started having serious money issues, i still hanged out with my friends but it wasnt the same since i used to see them everyday and they started to hang out w/o me since they did it after school(some days we did same as weekends) i did have my best friend who i still hanged out alot with, and i also started to feel a little left out and started talking less and was taking the banter more personally to the point of just shutting up for hours, i got depressed and started to hang out less and less with them, one day they started making fun of me, telling me im gay and shit wich i used to not take it bad since i used to banter but this time was different, atleast i felt it that way, so i had a horrible night, some of them stopped doing it but out of pity and i didnt liked that either, so i stopped hanging out with them and with anybody for that matter, for the next 5 months i started hanging out with my "loser friends" with wich i played dota 2, even got back into yugioh for a while, my other friends called me always and msged me a lot but i ignored each and every one of them.

So one day after fighting with my mom and spending a week at my dads i decided to snap out of depression and start to go out like before, so i talked to alot of my friends and on the first october weekend i got out there, had a blast with one of my best friends from a whiiileee back, (mind you i didnt hanged out with my stoner friends yet this was another group) and the next weekend i hanged out with them again and had a blast but by the third weekend they had blow me off, at least i felt it that way, they didnt respond to my texts, or they did but very late telling me to go to a party but veery late, and then that week i hanged out with my stoner friends, first with one in my house where we smoked and chilled for like a half an hour and had an all around good time , then i went to my other friends (wich was my best friend)house to hang out and we chilled and had a good time as well, we even planned to do something on friday and saturday and i went home, 2 friends were coming to my house on thursday but i cancelled cause they could only stay 1 hour in wich i wanted to catch a game, but they seemed to take it well and we agreed to hang out friday, so friday comes (yesterday) and suddenly they arent answering my texts and my best friends told me he couldnt make it cause of a girl (wich he told me he would cancel her to hang out with me so i didnt take it so bad) and my other friends didnt answered and one did but like at 12:30 am, so today i woke up and text my "best friend" to hang out and guess what, didnt answered whole day long, so idk what im doing to push people away from me but i honestly feel very shitty about this whole situation, i wish i could go back and never try to sell that kid weed and get back my old life with guaranteed friends, you know what im gonna do now? Im gonna go out by some weed and beers and sit in a park until its late enough so my mother (who is also depressed) doesnt worry about me, so yeah i dont like my life now but i hope it gets better, im bracing for a shitty summer, (south america, summer is from december to march, vacations at least) but im trying to keep a happy face and still be the joker fool i am, hopefully things will get better and i will get my friends back or get some quality new ones but some that dont make me feel like our friendship is superficial or something like that i cant quite put into words.

Sorry for the long wall text but i needed to tell someone about this shitty year, thanks to anyone that read it.