Because...yeah, it's complicated. We randomly got to know each other in a shared living situation a few month ago. We're both working on resolving our traumatic past and have been helping each other way better than any therapist possibly could have in the span of a few month. I talked her out of leaving her boyfriend, who is a really really great guy, for irrational reasons.

When we have coffee together in the morning, our days are better, when we talk about our days in the evening, we both feel like this is what we were missing our whole life's, because we never had that with our families.

And now that she's away with her boyfriend for a few weeks, it's like a part of my soul is missing. And when she called me yesterday, it felt like it's the same for her.

There's no jealousy. I know how much she needs a break from all the shit that is going on in her life. And I really really like her boyfriend.

So that's where I am right now.

I dont know if I even want it to be anything else.

But the thought of being with someone else feels so utterly wrong right now.

I am happy.