I really don't know. I guess that people didn't like me. It began with teasing. Ended with my existence being completely ignored.

Was it because I didn't have the same interests as my peers? Was it because of my bad teeth? Or was it because I started puberty at a very young age? Was it because I was sensitive? Was it because I was considered "ugly" because I had glasses and kept my hair short? Was it because I did well at school?

I honestly don't know. It began with teasing, then they started to be physical. I was hit multiple times, often followed on my way home from school by a group of boys who name-called me all the way. I was left out in everything; people didn't want to do group-projects with me. They said I was disgusting. I was always clean and never made a mess. Sure I was clumsy; but that was because I could feel how the watched my every move and got anxious because of it.

I was bad at sports. And I always took a long time to get changed in gym classes. I didn't want to be picked at or teased. I didn't want to be commented on for my boobs and pubic hairs.

Was invited to join a group of people who then either didn't show up or was being picked on the whole time. If I was invited to a birthday party no-one would talk to me and usually went to play some "games" that involved in being mean to me and/or being physical. Or being completely ignored. I stopped showing up. I hated to have my own birthday party. People wouldn't show up. Or show up and be shitty.

I was locked in bathrooms and elevators. My stuff was taken away and my jacket was hidden multiple times. People would ruin my stuff and then laugh. They'd kick me and try to make me fall over.

When I was younger (ages 6-10) I tried to make friends. I'd call their houses and they'd tell me that they didn't want to be with me or that they had someone else over and if I asked if I could join they'd simply tell me no. When I was a teenager they said that I was childish and weird. Some would pretend to be my friends and then stab me in my back. People would talk shit about me in front of me. They'd laugh at me when I walked by. They'd call my house and be awful at the phone. I have troubles with phones now. I cannot speak to people on the phone without getting anxious.

I have a really hard time making friends and developing friendship. I have social anxiety. I'm claustrophobic. I'm depressed and anxious around new people. I have a hard time trusting people.

I still don't know why they did this to me. It's been 7 years since we graduated and they are planning a reunion and invited me. I don't think I will show up.