Low flying aircraft. I tense up, close my eyes, squeeze my hands into fists and my heart pounds until the noise is gone.

I used to work very close to an huge airport and managed to hide it by busying myself with something all of the sudden and turning away from anyone in the room. But it was enormously difficult.

Also, and this is kind of weird, but every once in a while I'll worry that my life for the last number of years has just been a dream or I've been in a coma, and I'll wake up to discover it was never even real.

I had an awful childhood and struggled with various issues (eating disorders, depression, etc) all throughout my 20s, but when I was 29 I met someone who is ridiculously amazing and loves me so fucking much, we're financially stable (never had been, even as a child we had next to nothing), I'm done with therapy, I'm no longer eating disordered, I'm generally pretty happy and enjoy my life in a way that I didn't even realize was possible.

It's almost too good, not perfect, but just... Normal and happy. So sometimes I freak myself out when I start thinking about it too much, and get all panicky that I'll open my eyes one day and be exactly where I was before, and once again, living a life I enjoy will be totally out of my reach. Except it'd be worse because I'd have something to miss, whereas before I was kind of just resigned to having issues and struggling with money and being lonely and sad and puking everything I ate or starving myself - after all, who cares, because that's all I ever knew anyway.

I know it's a ridiculous thing to fear, but it crosses my mind at least once a month.

Also that's kind of embarrassing to admit? Idk.