It is unbelievably obvious that you are making this solely into a gender thing. It isn’t woman vs. man here, she’d be in a better place if she didn’t:

• Abuse Tom’s loyalty

• Make the love within her marriage conditional

• Proclaim herself as successor multiple times in the worst possible scenarios

• Impulsively make horrible decisions

• Act by far the most condescending out of any of the characters (just beating out manic Kendall)

I mean the list goes on and on, I can name probably 10+ other more specific examples. None of this is to say she’s the worst (all of them are horrible, we know this), but her hate is just as warranted as anyone else’s. It does not need to be a gender thing.