I didn't just tell her a bunch of stuff I don't like about the guy randomly out of the blue, she was talking about how he won't see their daughter at all because he's "too depressed" but she found out he was having a girl move in already and I thought we were just talking shit about him. Maybe I should have not said anything, but you asked, and that's my answer.

I didn't bring up any of that stuff initially, she did. I agree, it's a toxic relationship and I have a part to play in that, which is why I apologized so many times to her. I ended up messaging her earlier today anyways just asking if she had a good weekend.

I really didn't mind her talking about my husband because she already told me most of those things before, it was that she went on for four hours about it during a really expensive dinner, wouldn't listen to me or my brother about our perspectives, and when I said it hurt my feelings she said it felt good.

I deleted this post because I don't want to accidentally have her read it somehow. I love her but I agree it's not a great relationship, maybe even toxic. Maybe we are just not meant to be super close but we can be more like casual friends. It just didn't go how I hoped and I'm disappointed. We spent six months seeing each other almost every weekend and it just blew up suddenly.

I felt like I had been very compassionate and empathetic, perhaps too much! I am so angry with her ex for ditching my 10 year old niece for some 20-something girl, and I must have said too much. Honestly from what you're saying it sounds like maybe I need to empathize less.