As a fellow autistic I would say you probably have more than two options of where this will go.. idk though. I would just try to avoid black and white thinking and move on, I personally don't socially interact much and have this problem of cutting people off when I get depressed. And yeah idolizing people isn't great, I do it too, but I haven't dated anyone and am not super interested in it since I'm aromantic, maybe I'm demisexual but I wouldn't know because I've never wanted to date anyone and I've pretty much never been close to anyone. Anytime I try to get close to someone or open up to someone they end up like distancing themselves or something, or maybe I do it subconsciously. This game sucks.