Long story. My parents moved around a lot. We were a poor family so be evicted was almost a yearly event. This lead to changing schools. At age 7 I spent 2 weeks in the hospital after almost dying during an epileptic seizure. This caused my right eye to turn "lazy." By the time I was 10 years old I had already gone to 8 schools.. This made making friends impossible since I was always "the new kid." I was always bullied so this made me fearful of other people and their intentions. Especially when on occasion someone would try to befriend me. Not that anyone did by the time I was 13. I started to lose my hair at this age in an awful way and also got horrible acne that lead to intense scarring and continued adult acne. High school was the worst. I skipped everyday for 3 years to avoid the taunts and aggressive judgemental behaviors from my peers. When I finally made an effort to return I made the mistake of saying somebody looked like a certain celebrity. This person didn't like my nonthreatening comparison and got 20 people to surround me and threaten to kick my ass. I withdrew at that point for a while but then I met the love of my life at 19 who I'm still with today after 10 years. He helped me get through issues of being gay and self confidence and for a while things looked up. I started working. We got a new apartment. Life was looking up. I still got made fun of in public but things were so awesome I didn't give a fuck! Now at this point I should mention that I'm a musician. My band and I played a show and the crowd all laughed at me. I was doing great, no mistakes. But I could here people in the crowd saying things like "What is wrong with him?" and "Omg he's sooooo weird!!" I could feel that this was a "wrong crowd" type of situation but the things these people said were cruel and hurtful. Since then I have been a recluse. I am made fun of constantly in public. People either stare at me like "Wtf is wrong with this guy." Or if I'm alone they will shout things from cars or from the other side of the street. Sometimes even to my face. Maybe they can read all my past pain on me and find me an easy target. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm too poor to fix anything about myself that actually matters in this world. I hate almost all people now. I used to think that there were some good people left in this world but most people are evil. And if not directly then indirectly for being bystanders to my abuse. The only thing I actually hate about being a social outcast is that I can't enjoy scenic places/nature like I used since there are obviously people in these places. But other than that. I don't mind staying at home and not being a victim to society's abuse towards me over things I can't control. I'm sorry. It's not worth it to me. Glad I have my boyfriend though.