Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying to start early

I got up 6 hours ago to study all day for a final exam on monday. I have gotten as far as opening all the readings, getting my notes out, past homeworks, etc. I'm on my meds and I still haven't actually started studying yet. I wanted to study all day today, all day tomorrow, sleep well Sunday night and go to work Monday morning before my exam. Unfortunately there is a 90% chance I will wast at least 80% of the weekend (not having fun, but attempting to study), stay up all night Sunday, tell my boss I can't come in on Monday, and study until 2:40pm for my 3:00pm final.

An example of what I used to do regularly: homework due at 9pm monday night. I had 3 weeks to work on it, but suddenly it's the sunday before it's due. I close the door to my room to begin working on it at around 3pm on Sunday. Fast forward to 3am on Monday - I have done 1/7 homework essay questions. 6am - 1/7 done. 11am (I have skipped a class already to work on this HW) - 1.5/7 done. I get the other 5.5 questions done between 1pm and 8:30pm. I have now been at my desk working on this homework for nearly 30 hours straight. It took about 6-8 hours of real focused work to complete over 3 weeks. I could have literally spent 2-2.5 hours a week on this class, but instead I spend 30 hours in a row and feel like shit for 48 hours afterward.

This isn't how I want to live my life, but this is what consistently happens. My procrastination problems are probably the biggest impact this disorder seems to have on my life and I'm fucking sick of it.

When someone suggests "why don't you start earlier" or "just do it when it's assigned - it'll make you feel much better" or "just sit down and do it so you can get a full night's sleep" I want to rip my fucking face off.

tl;dr I feel you, OP. If a task is neither urgent nor interesting it might as well be impossible regardless of how personally important it is.

/r/ADHD Thread