Tell me about it, I once did almost exactly like on "There's Something about Mary", hurt like hell but I was able to get my sack unstuck all-by-myself, thankfully the zipper didn't take near as big a bite like in the movie, really it was mostly hair but it got just enough skin to hurt like hell. I thought everything was okay and would work out without anyone finding out....but no, it couldn't be that easy, not for me!
About a 3-4 days later I'm with my girl and were about to...you know, when she points at my junk and says "What the fuck is that?" Having not really looked I assumed I had a scab/scar tissue from the zipper accident. Before I could say anything she start accusing me of having VD, fucking whores and said "That huge fucking wart proves it!." and "that's why you didn't let me suck it last time." (believe me, if she had "wanted to suck it" I would never have stopped her!)
So now I'm scrambling into the bathroom to get a mirror to see just what shes talking about and she's not totally wrong, it did look quite a bit like a wart, but it was a cyst about the size of a marble and I couldn't even tell it was there, couldn't feel it all unless I touched it with my hand, didn't itch, didn't burn, nothing. Needless to say, no sexy time for me, that night or for weeks after, she just wouldn't believe it was not an STD.
So then I have to go to the doctor. One of the biggest embarrassments of my life. Have it looked at, get told it's minor surgery and I have to go to a different doctor. The only doc in town that does these things is busy for 2 weeks. I scheduled the soonest slot.
2 weeks pass, I go to the nut-sack-cutting Dr. After looking at the problem he pulls out the biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen in my life, I thought he was pulling a joke on me and start laughing, I'm not scared of needles and at one time was getting 5 a week for allergies but the skin on your ballsack is way more sensitive than the skin on your arm. What's worse is it wasn't just one shot. He'd poke it in and give a little squeeze, then pull it out and poke it again a millimeter ot two away, he did this at least 15-20 times and it was worse than having my ballsack stuck in the zipper...way worse.
Anyway after that it wasn't so bad, the shot worked great I couldn't feel a thing down there, 3-4 minutes later and the cyst was in a small jar being sent to a lab to make sure it was benign. But we're not done yet, the worst is still to come. The Doc then tells me "you'll have to come back in 3 days to have it cauterized"! He just told me he wants to burn my ballsack!
The next days suck. Before having the cyst removed everything felt normal, like I said no itching, burning, nothing just normal. But now, since it's been removed I have all of that, burning, itching, I can't find a comfortable way to sit, or even lay down. Every little thing aggravates it. Anti-pain Anti-itch Neosporin became my best buddy and even that wasn't nearly strong enough. I almost gave in a went to get the pain meds the prescribed twice, but I needed to drive, that was my job and I couldn't take the time off work so pain-meds were a no-go.
So the big day arrives, time to go pay to have my ballsack branded. I thought I would get another volley of magical shots from the big fucking all numbing laugh inducing needle...no such luck this time. I get in position and so does the doc, he takes my ballsack in hand looks at it for a second, starts wiping it with an alcohol swab and he asks "you ready?" and I ask "I don't get a shot this time?" and he says "Nope" while simultaneously striking a match. I look away, I hear him blow the flame off the match and the next thing I know......I nearly passed out.
I'll leave it here, as it's quite long already, I'll just these last few things. Yes I patched it up with the girl and yes it was just cyst no cancer or anything like that. It's been nearly ten years since this happened and "my boys" couldn't be happier. No I am not with the same woman.