It's entirely for closure and perhaps an honest dialogue. Short story - we kind of dated, actually dated, ended up at the same University and then broke up during the first year (it didn't go down in a healthy way). We were both drifting apart, lying and spiting each other constantly as it neared an end.

Fast forward to earlier this year - we re-established communication and actually ended up going to a music festival. It happened very naturally and I can't even tell you who initiated, or how that even came to be - we both just went with it. The first chunk of it was all laughs, good food, beer, memories, and inside jokes. I mean like actual smiles and laughing - so incredible to have happen after our history. By the halfway mark it drifted into silence, paranoia, and we were spiting each other just as much as ever by the end. You could feel the tension. We haven't spoke since then. Just re-typing this experience reminds me how unusual it really was. The fact that we were both willing to go through with it says something about how similar we are.

If the cycle were to repeat itself, we won't initiate contact for a year or longer. But that's why I felt the need to ask initially - I admittedly don't know her mental history, I just only know her as a person over a period of ten-ish years - is it a bigger move to just keep moving forward without talking to her? She may very well also be BPD and it would explain a lot, but I struggle with whether that's a conversation that "needs" to happen. It would be selfish to assume it needs to happen, and having said that, I'm entirely on the fence. I'm trying to consider that she is happier without me, and I don't think that's a bad assumption. It's a tough pill to swallow. Probably why I'm sitting here typing about it.