the guy i'm falling for, to my surprise, is not him. the guy i'm falling for grew up in that area that might be europe, might be the middle east. he wants to share his culture with me. he gives me candy, drinks, finds restaurants, tv shows. he seems simultaneously so excited to share it all and nervous about what i think about it. its so much fun for me to get to learn about everything through him, hearing his stories, usually about his childhood. he's homesick. he learned english through science, and he speaks so properly with his thick accent, yet i have a feeling that when he's stressed, his social english gets messy, the words get a little jumbled when he has a lot going on. he studies something i cannot understand because i'd need to go back in time and care about math and its application. he barely shows me how smart he is, but he's rubbing elbows with nobel prize winners like its nbd. and yet he tells me i'm smart. when i talk to him about art and nature, he stares at me like i'm the genius. he tells me i blow his mind. he listens so closely to everything i tell him, and surprises me when he brings up the most random thing i said, the most useless piece of information i gave him, days or weeks later. i've told him that his mind operates on these tiny tiny details in a way that surprises me every time. he tells me his brain is weird. i think its beautiful. he is the tallest guy i've ever dated, and has long dark hair. his limbs just wrap around me, and i'm like how is your hand all the way on my hip from this position? he loves my body, and tells me all the time. he's quiet when he eats, and he just glances at me periodically, smirking. he thinks about the future. i will show you this place next month, we should go there in the spring, you should come with me on this work trip next summer. he includes me. i'm so new to him, he's so new to me, but it feels like a friendship. i don't feel pressure. i don't feel like there's a game that anyone's playing. it's so easy to talk to him.

gah. ya'll. he's traveling now and i find myself missing this person who i don't know that well, but feel like i know really well...