“Sir, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away. . . .”
“Sir, I wondered what you know about. . . about Bitcoin?”
Slughorn stared at him, his thick ringers absentmindedly clawing the mouth of his Dew bottle.
“Project for your new job at Reddit, is it?”
But Harry could tell that Slughorn knew perfectly well that this was not work-related.
“Not exactly, sir,” said Riddle. “I came across the term while surfing the web and I didn’t fully understand it.”
“No . . . well. . . you’d be hard pushed to find a reputable economist that’ll give you details on Bitcoin, Tom, that’s very dumb stuff, very dumb indeed,” said Slughorn.
“But you obviously know all about them, sir? I mean, a neckbeard like you — sorry, I mean, if you can’t tell me, obviously — I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could — so I just thought I’d –“
It was very well done, thought Harry, the hesitancy, the casual tone, the careful flattery, none of it overdone. He, Harry, had had too much experience of trying to wheedle information out of reluctant people not to recognize a master at work. He could tell that Riddle wanted the information very, very much; perhaps had been working toward this moment for weeks.
“Well,” said Slughorn, not looking at Riddle, but fiddling with the bag of Dewritos in his hand, “well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview, of course. Just so that you understand t he term. A Bitcoin is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their worth.”
“I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir,” said Riddle.
His voice was carefully controlled, but Harry could sense his excitement.
“Well, you split your life savings, you see,” said Slughorn, “and hide part of it in an object inside the internet. Then, even if one’s bank account is attacked or destroyed, one can still be rich, for part of the savings remains in Bitcoin and undamaged. But of course, money in such a form …”
Slughorn’s face crumpled and Harry found himself remembering words he had heard nearly two years before: “I was ripped from my body pillow, I was less than homeless, less than the meanest neckbeard. . . but still, I was rich.”
“… few would want it, Tom, very few. American Express would be preferable.”
But Riddle’s hunger was now apparent; his expression was greedy, he could no longer hide his longing.
“How do you split your worth?”
“Well,” said Slughorn uncomfortably, “you must understand that life savings supposed to remain intact and whole. Splitting it is an act of violation, it is against common sense.”
“But how do you do it?”
“By an act of stupidity — the supreme act of stupidity. By depositing in Mt. Gox. Mt. Gox rips your savings apart. The neckbeard intent upon holding a Bitcoin would use the service to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion —”
“Encase? But how — ?”
“There is a bank transfer, do not ask me, I don’t know!” said Slughoin shaking his head like an atheist enlightened by his own intelligence. ” Do I look as though I have tried it — do I look like a dumbass?”
“No, sir, of course not,” said Riddle quickly. “I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to offend . . .”
“Not at all, not at all, not offended,” said Slughorn gruffly, “It is natural to feel some curiosity about these things. . . . neckbeards of a certain caliber have always been drawn to that aspect of easy money. . . .”
“Yes, sir,” said Riddle. “What I don’t understand, though — just out of curiosity — I mean, would one Bitcoin be much use? Can you only split your savings once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you richer, to have your life savings in more pieces, I mean, for instance, isn’t four-twenty the most powerfully dank meme, wouldn’t four-twenty— ?”
“Gandalf’s beard, Tom!” yelped Slughorn. “Four-twenty! Isn’t it bad enough to think of wasting money on just one Bitcoin? And in any case . . . bad enough to divide your life savings . . . but to rip it into four-hundred-twenty pieces . . .”
Slughorn looked deeply troubled now: He was gazing at Riddle as though he had never seen him plainly before, and Harry could tell that he was regretting entering into the conversation at all.
“Of course,” he muttered, “this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing, isn’t it? All TIL . . .”
“Yes, sir, of course,” said Riddle quickly.
“But all the same, Tom . . . keep it quiet, what I’ve told — that’s to say, what we’ve discussed. People wouldn’t like to think we’ve been chatting about Bitcoin. It’s a downvoted subject on most subreddits, you know. . . . SubredditDrama’s particularly fierce about it. …”
“I won’t say a word, sir,” said Riddle.