I was thinking about this very issue yesterday.

I was a “late bloomer”, socially inept and had great social anxiety around guys. I was about 19 when I had my first date. 23 when I actually had my first boyfriend and first kiss.

After the first few dates, we kissed normally. Then one night, he tried for a French kiss, with his tongue. It freaked me the hell out! It was gross and just, yuck! I hate to say it, but after that date, I gaslighted him and we never saw each other again.

Fast forward a few years later, I met a really nice guy. Yada yada, yada, I enjoyed, really enjoyed his kisses. We got married and 25 years later are still together.

I cannot imagine if I had to marry Boyfriend #1, I would have been traumatized. Would I have had to get used to it? I guess. What kind of a toll would it have taken to marry and have to have physical relations (or just kisses) with someone whom you’re really not attracted to?