I've made many life decisions simply for the sake of knowing what the experience would be like.
I've done this, too.
I'm 36 and can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Maybe it is a generational thing. I don't have advice for that. If you figure out how to deal with the restless ache of whatever it is, do let me know.
I wouldn't quit your nice paying job just yet. No doubt you're in the throes of post-breakup weirdness. It doesn't have to be some dramatic, drastic change right this minute. Hollywood likes it like that. But I've found true change, understanding about myself, feeling I'm on a path at all...this happens in very small, quiet increments. It builds on itself. I wish so hard for one day to wake up and just be like- yes, I finally figured all my shit out and have the best idea for my life that I am passionate about and on fire for!
It doesn't happen like that. I think that's a huge myth. Instead, it's more like one day you get a little clue. 3 months later, you re-read a book that jostles something else loose for you. Then a conversation with a friend opens something else up. And then you look at a picture of yourself in your 20's that you haven't seen in a while, remember a certain feeling of power and invincibility you had back then, and unlock one more little piece.
Exhausting. I know.
For me, and maybe not for you, I realized that I have been trying to life a life different from who I really am. I have been trying to fit in and do all the "correct" things when I will never fit. I wish I had spent the last 10 years enjoying living my life at an angle instead of trying to uncover what was so wrong with me and get some stable ground under my feet. [SPOILER ALERT: There is no stable ground, ever, for anyone. We're all just hurling through space on a big rock.)
Well, that's where I'm at today. Some awareness and stunned grief. I'm scared. I don't know what this means for my life other than I have to live in a completely different way.
I don't mean to hijack, only to detail that I do know how you feel.