3. TIL Marlon Brando was in an acting class that was told to act like chickens and ...

TIL Marlon Brando was in an acting class that was told to act like chickens and that a nuclear bomb was about to fall on them. Most of the class clucked wildly, but Brando sat calmly and pretended to lay an egg. When Stella Adler asked why he said, "I'm a chicken, What do I know about bombs?"

(high dark shot lowers down onto a brightly lit stage that is placed very low in front of high-rising desks, a college classroom. Mr. Garfield stands on the stage, rimmed glasses on his face, staring downward into a thought.)

Mr. Garfield: Alright now for this next exercise I want you all to come down to the floor.

(the students get up and walk down the stairs and each stand around the professor)

Mr. Garfield: (In a heavy british accent) Right now, I want each and every one of you to take the place of something that is pure, something that you must really understand in order to be, you are going to be acting as a wild creature. In this case you must specifically be a chicken, but not just any chicken, a chicken in a nuclear armageddon. Bombs are currently dropping out of the sky, heaven is raining with death machines, and the earth is clearly about to reach its’ endpoint, well at least for everything living on it. So I want you to now….close your eyes….and count to three. and then on three, you will focus on your perspective, as well as your perceptions, and act as an actual chicken would. 3…...2……..1……

(people starting running around the room manically screaming, flapping their arms helplessly, and making an absolute scene. They are following the notion that the most over-the-top scenario would call for the most over-the-top reaction. One man creeps to the back of the floor, in a corner that is somewhat dark, and starts to squat down as if he is about to leave a pile of himself on the stage. Instead he keeps his pants on and merely gestures with his legs as if he is relieving his bowels. Mr. Garfield starts to take notice, and after a while begins to realize that this man doesn’t seem to be following protocol)

Mr. Garfield: Excuse me, what do you think you are doing?

(Brando doesn’t move. Keeps squatting down. Going back up and squatting back down silently in the dark.)

Mr. Garfield: STOP THIS AT ONCE!

(The entire class stops screaming. Brando keeps squatting.)

Mr. Garfield: Mr. Brando, would care to tell us what you are doing on my stage? The stage that is the canvas to our art? The canvas that you seem to have ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR!!!??!

(Brando stops and turns around like nothing is wrong)

Brando: Sorry professor, I was just doin what you said to do.

Mr. Garfield: Do you think pretending to...excrete on our stage is tolerated here?

Brando: Oh but professor, I can promise you i was not pretending to take a shit. I would never mean to insult you either.

Mr. Garfield: Oh well I am certain that is just the case. What else on god’s earth could you have been doing? You looked like….it was actually going to start coming out! I DO NOT accept such vile behavior on my stage! Explain yourself at once, or god help you, you will never….EVER work in this industry for the rest of your goddamn life!!

Brando: I was layin’ an egg. What tha fuck do any chicken know about some nuclear bomb anyways? ...What’d they hear about it on the news?

(rest of class starts to laugh)

Mr. Garfield: Enough! That’s enough! Students you…

(Bell rings. Everyone starts to leave the class.)

Mr. Garfield: No!! Wait! Everyone! Wait! That’s not the point Mr. Brando! That’s not the point of the exercise! You’re supposed to understand the scenario! Understanding the impending doom! What happens when...oh wait! Students! read chapters 5 through... Excuse me! Hello??!! This is going to be due! Hey….you! Tell them….hey!

(Everyone leaves before Mr. Garfield can get a word out. Game: Brando.)

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