As someone who has a lot of experience playing RTS's online for years now. Here's my golden rule: Never play with random people. Ever. It's just not worth it.

Why? For a few reasons: Toxicity, poor communication, and mediocre/bad play. It might be anecdotal, but when I play with randos they chack at least one/multiple of these categories. I wind up being frustrated and lose ELO every time I try.

So my solution is to only play with the amount of people I que with. If I'm alone select only 1v1s, if I'm with two friends select only 3v3s ect. I find this method to work much better, I rapidly gain ELO this way.

If you don't have anyone to play with I'd do two things. One, ask around Aoe2 communities (like this one) if someone would be willing to group up. Two (my preferred method) is to play 1v1's try to find cool people who are around your skill level & befriend them.

Best of luck in the future.