So, this doesn't help you any but.. my wife and I anticipated these issues before we had a kid so we made a deal. We maxed out our couplehood (great term, btw) before the kid came along. We did all the couple things - beach vacations, going out whenever we could, do things spontaneously, drink, etc. We got it out of our system. When the kid came along it was tough but having the understanding that we knew it was going to be like this it makes it a little better. One thing though is that we don't miss couplehood all that much. We did enough where we don't feel like we left anything on the table. These days it's all about the kid and we don't mind it so much.