It should be noted that I've upboated every single person who's disagreed with me here, as that promotes my post.

That said.

In 7th grade, I took a meme dankness test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for /r/AdviceAnimals in my area.

A meme test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for dankness. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.

My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an memebase dankineer who graduated /r/pics. At the age of 12, I understand dank memes better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent meme of anything, just tell me that my memes were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding memeodynamics. He's not particularly successful as a dankineer, but I've met lots of other meme lords who aren't as good as me at memes, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.

I'm also pretty good at dankineering. I don't have a degree, and other than le memes xddd I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented a meme generator before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing nrw dank memes based on the news (my first idea being to use a powerful awkward penguin to reap karma; admittedly not the best plan).

I have independently thought of basically every branch of memes I've come across. Every question of dankness which I've seen discussed in /r/circlejerk, /r/funny, the less shitty part of Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Dankness has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a course on viral things on the internet just to see how easy it is.

Old email forwards, I actually understand better than my grandma. Unlike dankineering, there's no aspect of forwards which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Albert Einstein's theories.

I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a copypasta and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have gone viral. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.

I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm dank. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my mobile phone, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my autocorrect and capabilies of my Reddit app.

I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Unidan at the end of 2014, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.

I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices are dank as fuck. I don't have any issue with any type of parody whatsoever (short of physically acting out memes, going full retard or other acts which have a not-so-dank affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.

I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Unidan is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.

I'm pretty much good at making things dank. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy turned dank after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of appreciation of dank memes and 2) if I don't attack, I'll make worse memes than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to memes than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore always had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, becaise my memes are dank as fuck. If I'm not going to get any karma, I really care.

The only exception is if someone is going after my memes. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them memes that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at my dankweed memes and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.

I consider myself a meminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform meme roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for memes should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of image boards continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat bad luck brian with the same outlook I treat the penguins, and never participate in the old Reddit "/r/adviceanimals is cancer llelele" circlejerk, because there are multiple memes out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple penguins out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome memes out there by going on and on about the ones that aren't dank.

That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize penguins, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about memes being cancerous to reddit (which is a bad argument because let's face it, memes are dank.)

I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me on /r/adviceanimals all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit r/gonewild community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for posting sources around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).

And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator of three meme subs with over 25 subscribers - each.

All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally not dank. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?