r/amiugly[meta] Ugly people really are treated worse u/SunkenAndSad1d, 16h I came across this old post, and while the OP doesn't seem like he has the best attitude, I saw some people disputing the idea that unattractive people get treated worse than attractive people.
https://m.reddit.com/r/amiugly/comments/57mmx8/women_why_are_you_so_rude_to_ugly_guys_im_sick_of/
As someone who was once jolly, overweight, and unattractive, I can relate to everything this guy said, although from the opposite perspective since I'm a girl. I was always hygienic, but I never exercised, and didn't do makeup or hair or dress particularly well. But beyond that, I was always friendly and outgoing.
I'm not saying that I am owed anything by the opposite sex just for being nice. I completely understand that. I never minded being rejected by someone, after all I wasnt exactly great looking. But when you are ugly people treat you worse, even in non-romantic settings, and it really hurts.
For example, hot girl asks dumb question in class, no one bats an eye. I ask dumb question, everyone looks at me like I killed their dog. Or hot girl does something rude, like cuts in line for sign in sheet, no one says anything. I am being escorted out of a club for having drank too much, group of hot sorority girls tells me I'm a stupid bitch that cant handle my liquor. And I in no way had any interaction with them, since they were coming in as I was leaving.
I'm not saying that being unattractive should be used as an excuse, and it can definitely be overcome, but to me the idea that unattractive people are generally treated worse is a fact. And I think anybody who disputes that has probably been lucky to be attractive enough to never have had to deal with that.
Do you guys really think that unattractive people are treated the same as everyone else? I know that in terms of relationships and attraction they will of course fare worse than attractive counterparts. But I'm talking about in day to day life, i.e. non-romantic settings.
12086 Best Write a comment You are viewing a single comment's thread. View the rest of the comments SunkenAndSad • 11h You once said in an older post:
[They actually are. Saying "This time, the person's just being an asshole" is exactly what white people tell black people in the face of racism.
I was sitting with my asian coworker at this vendor event, and a vendor rep came around and introduced herself to all of us except for my one coworker. It was so weird and obvious I asked him "wtf, are you chopped liver?" and he responded with "yea, racism is weird". Should I question him and say "naw, it wasn't because of racism, she's just an asshole"... or should I accept that since it happens to him, and not me, that he might have some insight on the situation?
By explaining away this clear example of sexism, you can explain away all sexism. Just like you can explain away all racism.]
When I try to make the same argument here that you were making there, albeit less eloquently, you shut me down saying it is just people being people. By that logic, racism and sexism is just people being people too then, right?
How do you know that it was racism that one time? What if your Asian coworker was just being overly sensitive? How could your Asian coworker be so sure that it was bc the vendor rep was racist, and not because it was just an honest mistake?
Or maybe your coworker has experienced this kind of treatment so many times before, that the only reasonable explanation is his race. Like how maybe ugly people have experienced poor treatment so often that the only thing they can think of as being responsible for that treatment is their looks. When it comes to being treated wrong bc of racism and sexism you say one thing, when it comes to being treated differently for your looks you say another.
I quote directly from you:
[...I accept that since it happens to him, and not me, that he might have some insight on the situation?]
Yet you deny us our experiences and insight just because it has not happened to you.
And saying we should just dress better and take care better care of ourselves or else we should expect to get treated differently is like saying your Asian coworker should go back to Asia or else they should just expect to deal with the racism and stop complaining.
Your hypocrisy is showing.
1 kimb00 • 7h You once said in an older post: Ah yes, that one I made 5mos ago? You are committed.
When I try to make the same argument here that you were making there, albeit less eloquently, you shut me down saying it is just people being people. By that logic, racism and sexism is just people being people too then, right? Wrong. No matter how hard I try, I can't suddenly become an asian man. But with very little effort I can (and have) experienced being a plain, unattractive woman.
Like how maybe ugly people have experienced poor treatment so often that the only thing they can think of as being responsible for that treatment is their looks. You keep interchangeably using "poor" as the absence of "preferential". It's not, it's just "normal".
Yet you deny us our experiences and insight just because it has not happened to you. Yes, but it has happened to me. Are you going to crawl through another 5 months of posts hoping to find another "smoking gun"...?
-1 SunkenAndSad • 2m The time you posted it is irrelevant. I am sire you hold those same double standards. I am dedicated. I am dedicated to show that people like you are hypocrites.
I sincerely believe at this point that you aren't even that unattractive. Sure, you don't look as good as when you're in better shape and dressed up nicely. But do you honestly think that an unattractive person recieves normal, not preferential, but normal treatment that everyone else does? I say no.
I have a weak chin, that I am getting surgery to correct. I don't look 'deformed' but I certainly don't look attractive. Do you really think that people react to a person with a weak chin who is otherwise well put together, the same way they react to a 'normal' person who is similarly dressed and groomed?
And not every single Asian person experiences discrimination. Funnily enough, I'm Vietnamese-American, and I have never experienced anything even close to what your coworker did that day. Yet, you don't see me going around categorically denying what your coworker experienced, or what other Asians may have experienced.
You are doing exactly to me what you said people should not do in that other post. You are 'explaining away' my experience and a lot of the other people here's experiences by saying that we are expecting preferential treatment and complaining when we don't get it. No, that's not what we are doing. We just want normal treatment, and sadly, we don't always get it.
There are multiple people here who would back me up. Do you not think that we may be on to something?