I've had such a fucking terrible day that I just want to go home and cry in my room and throw stuff at walls, but then I'm also scared to go there because the last time I was alone when I had a full-blown breakdown I ended up in A&E cause I cut myself badly but then also I don't want to cry around people so idk what to do now

aaaand obviously I've got a very important interview thing tomorrow and I'm also panicking because if I don't pull myself together I'll just cry in front of the guy and there's no way I'll get the job and at this stage I'm so fucking tired of being a failure that I may actually do the sensible thing and fucking end myself because oh yeah the suicidal thoughts are BACK